Hijacked these from a reddit post. Disclaimer – These are bad \/ dirty jokes, do not take any of the comments below seriously… really don’t<\/p>\n
1_What’s the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
\n2_My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support.
\n3_What do you call a five year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor.
\n4_Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.
\n5_What’s the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
\n6_What’s got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
\n7_What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding… He still hasn’t unwrapped his present.
\n8_How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday? By putting flowers on the grave.
\n9_How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.
\n10_How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
\n11_Why do Mexicans never have Sex Ed. and Driver’s Ed. on the same day? They have to give the donkey a break at some point.
\n12_Feminism
\n13_So I suggested to my wife that she’d look sexier with her hair back\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
\n14_Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It’s their kids who cause all the trouble.
\n15_How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don’t be stupid, feminists can’t change anything.
\n16_What is a pedophiles favorite part about Halloween? Free delivery.
\n17_So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 Now it doesn’t work.
\n18_How do you kill a redneck? Wait ’till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house.
\n19_What’s the difference between a gay man and a freezer? Freezer doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.
\n20_What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you already done told her twice.
\n21_How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool? Flip it upside-down.
\n22_Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free.
\n23_What happened when the jew walked into the wall with a hard-on? He broke his nose.
\n24_How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit? Nine months.
\n25_How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altarboy.
\n26_What do you call 40 mexicans buried up to their neck in sand? A spicket fence.
\n27_How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None,they just sit in the dark and bitch.
\n28_Did you hear about the two car pile up in Mexico? 200 Mexicans died.
\n29_What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A pedophile.
\n30_What’s a pedophile’s favorite part of a hockey game? Before the First Period.
\n31_How do you swat 200 flies at one time? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
\n32_What is a redneck virgin? A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.
\n33_How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.
\n34_Girls are like blackjack\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 I’m trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14.
\n35_Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can’t do stand up.
\n36_Did you hear the Score of the Egypt vs Ethiopia soccer game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn’t.
\n37_How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don’t. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
\n38_What’s 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage.
\n39_A Jew, a black, and a Muslim are on a frozen lake, not talking to each other, so I thought I would go over there and break the ice.
\n40_What’s difference between dollars and Jews? I’d give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars.
\n41_How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.
\n42_Whats the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin? Zimmerman knew how to dodge a bullet.
\n43_One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life
\n44_I don’t understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass. I mean,I know he’s black and all, but I doubt he’ll shoot anyone.
\n45_What’s the difference between a Jew and harry potter? Harry can escape the chamber.
\n46_What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
\n47_Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods.
\n48_What’s the difference between cancer and Black people? Cancer got Jobs.
\n49_What do Sarah Palin and Iron Man have in common? They both had a downey jr inside of them.
\n50_What’s a word that white people can call white people, but black people can’t call black people? Dad.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hijacked these from a reddit post. Disclaimer – These are bad \/ dirty jokes, do not take any of the comments below seriously… really don’t 1_What’s the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a fuck when my … Continue reading