{"id":2502,"date":"2022-09-20T12:49:00","date_gmt":"2022-09-20T19:49:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.danielyerelian.com\/blog\/?p=2502"},"modified":"2022-11-28T06:37:00","modified_gmt":"2022-11-28T13:37:00","slug":"3-ways-to-build-deeper-connections","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.danielyerelian.com\/blog\/2022\/09\/20\/3-ways-to-build-deeper-connections\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Ways To Build Deeper Connections"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(Also posted on <a href=\"https:\/\/medium.com\/@dyerelian\/3-ways-to-build-deeper-connections-b287e7980da3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Medium<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"7bfa\">Lately, my mind is constantly returning to the thoughts and ideas in the book\u00a0<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.nonviolentcommunication.com\/product\/nvc\/\" target=\"_blank\">Non-Violent Communication<\/a>\u00a0by Marshall Rosenberg. As a father and husband, building deeper connections with my children and wife is important to me, and the teachings from this book helps do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/miro.medium.com\/max\/700\/1*dDKZ7yniUyXtNJ0YN9b18A.png\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"b2cb\">The learnings have started to change how I communicate with the people I love and the people I choose to interact with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"3bc6\">I\u2019m still hasty; I often start talking without considering others\u2019 needs and feelings, but I have noticed myself contemplating conversations much more often and how I could have made a better connection. Now I try to slow down and be deliberate with my thoughts when speaking with folks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"16f7\">Most of the time, I find it\u2019s better to say nothing and take your time than to say or do something hurtful you can never take back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"32b1\">Here are three lessons I thought were important that I wanted to share with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h1 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"4f3c\"><strong>1. You are responsible for your feelings.<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Now, other folks can stimulate those feelings with what they do, but you are responsible for how you interpret and react to those stimulations.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What may make you feel anger or frustration may make someone else feel gratitude. \u2014 Your feelings are an intersection of what people are doing and what your needs are at the moment<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"f1ef\">For example \u2014 If you are sitting home on a Saturday night with your family and no one is speaking or interacting with each other, maybe people are on their phones, reading, or watching television.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"ad48\">\u00b7 If my need at this time is to have more connection, I may feel frustrated that we aren\u2019t speaking or interacting with each other<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"1257\">\u00b7 On the other hand, if my need is for solace, I may feel content we aren\u2019t speaking or interacting with each other<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h1 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"4970\"><strong>2. Empathy \u2014 You can make better connections with people by investing yourself and time to understand their feelings<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Just trying to be empathetic is often enough \u2014 you may get it all wrong, but the effort you put into understanding someone else is often enough to make a connection and let them know you care about their feelings and needs.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"e0bb\">For example \u2014 Your wife is sitting home on a Saturday night with the family, and no one is speaking or interacting with each other; maybe people are on their phones, reading, or watching television.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"5272\">\u00b7 She says, \u201cI can\u2019t believe everyone is on their phones. This is supposed to be family time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"39df\">\u00b7 I could say, \u201cIt sounds like you are frustrated the family isn\u2019t connecting. Is that right?\u201d and work to understand her feelings and needs that aren\u2019t being met.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"8497\">\u00b7 Then, you can discuss what can be done to meet her needs. Maybe it\u2019s not something right away, but tomorrow or later in the week, we can plan to play a board game or carve out no screen time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h1 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"7204\"><strong>3. Gratitude \u2014 Showing deep gratitude<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>People are taught to say thank you and be polite, which is great. I believe manners are the oil that keeps the cogs of society running smoothly.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>I want to share a technique in the book that supercharges showing appreciation. In three parts, you communicate to the person you are showing appreciation to.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>What did the person do that you are appreciative of<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How did the action make you feel<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What need of yours did it meet<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"6d15\">For example<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"0682\">\u00b7 My family is sitting home on a Saturday, and no one is speaking or interacting with each other; maybe people are on their phones, reading, or watching television<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"b957\">\u00b7 I feel frustrated because I want us to have a better connection, and my wife notices. She suggests then persuades the kids that we should go on a family walk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"7693\">\u00b7 Later that evening or the next day, I could say something like<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"53a0\">\u00b7 I want to say thank you for suggesting the family walk yesterday<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"5da3\">\u00b7 I felt content and happy that we went on a walk together. My heart is full.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"33b4\">\u00b7 It met the need I have for us to be closer and better connected as a family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"3139\">That\u2019s it. Thanks for reading, and I hope this inspires you to take a minute or two to build better connections with those around you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(Also posted on Medium) Lately, my mind is constantly returning to the thoughts and ideas in the book\u00a0Non-Violent Communication\u00a0by Marshall Rosenberg. As a father and husband, building deeper connections with my children and wife is important to me, and the &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.danielyerelian.com\/blog\/2022\/09\/20\/3-ways-to-build-deeper-connections\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[60,321,154,215],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2502","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health","category-medium-post","category-philosophy","category-reference"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielyerelian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2502","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielyerelian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielyerelian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielyerelian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielyerelian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2502"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielyerelian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2502\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.danielyerelian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2502"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielyerelian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2502"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.danielyerelian.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2502"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}